


I Kept Telling Myself I Wasn't Afraid of the Dark

by GracieHoltzbertTrash715



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 01:53:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15474897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GracieHoltzbertTrash715/pseuds/GracieHoltzbertTrash715
Summary: What happened to Penny Peabody after Jughead infamously sliced off her tattoo. Rated M for language and some graphic images





	I Kept Telling Myself I Wasn't Afraid of the Dark

I kept telling myself I wasn’t afraid of the dark. There was nothing and no one for miles. The only thing I should be afraid of is the tricks my own mind was playing on me. But I knew I was wrong. Especially when the sounds of the howling coyotes seemed to move closer to me. Or were they? The fear in me grew when I could smell that familiar scent. The scent of an oncoming downpour of rain filling the air. This night couldn’t get much worse. Could it?

I wanted to get up. In my head I tried. And I knew I could. I felt the strength in my still working legs but succumbed harder to the weakness in my beaten down pride.

_That did NOT just fucking happen. Did it? Teenagers? Come on, Penny! You’ve been through much more in your lifetime than to let FP Jones’ snot-nosed little kid take you down. Get the fuck up, Aspen!_

I battled myself for, I don’t even know, how long. Lying there on the dirt and hard rocks after those shitty Serpent teens drove away. I stared up at the sky...wondering how long it had been. Wondering exactly when the rain would start. The throbbing in my arm shot a wave of pain throughout my entire body. Fuck! For once I’d actually WELCOME period cramps.

The cold December air causes me to shiver and the pain in my arm metastasizes. A part of me hoped it would snow and bury me underneath. Shit! It’s almost Christmas and I have nothing ready for Nani. _Oh my god! Nani!_ I reached into my pocket for my cell phone, but it wasn’t there.

“Goddammit!” I screamed aloud, startling myself and some nearby animals I could hear running off in fear. Twigs snapping under their paws and/or hooves. Hooves? I crack a small smile as I think to myself. _Maybe it’s Santa and his motherfucking reindeer come to rescue me._

I laugh aloud, filling the cool, silent air again. I am one funny bitch. Wow...I really fucking hate myself. I need to call my Nani. I feel the wetness falling from my eyes finally. Wow, my weak ass had really been crying this entire goddamn time? That tattoo removal must’ve hurt worse than I thought. Or was it the sheer coldness of the winter air making my eyes water? I sigh, lying there alone. No...I know the real reason for my forsaken tears. My Nani. She’s all alone. God, I hope she’s taken her medicine tonight. My heart pounds faster as I think about what could happen to the only blood family member I have while I’m stranded out here.

Shit! My heart! I need to calm down. _Stop crying, Penny! Stop it! Stay calm or your heart will stop out here in the cold. You’re already bleeding more than you should be...calm your pulse._ I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath and I slowly blew the air out again. My eyes opened and I see that first drop of rain. I knew it! I could smell it coming. Why couldn’t it be snow come to finally put me out of my misery? That’s right! Nani! I need to get home to take care of Nani. I’m all she has.

The rocks that dug into my back no longer bothered my freezing, numb body as it began to rain even harder and my tears fell harder too. I finally looked down at my arm, seeing the blood dripping from it...the small strings of flesh hanging there where Shithead Jones fucked it up. I laugh to myself again. _If I get out of this alive...I’m gonna tell everyone NOT to let that kid become a surgeon. Nor a potato slicer. Jesus! He can’t even use a knife properly._ I don’t know why I did, but my eyes searched the ground around me for that piece of my arm...my tattoo. If the coyotes get a whiff of it, I am dead fucking meat.

_It’s time, Aspen Peabody. Time to get the fuck up!_

I tried to move. My soaked, freezing, numb body struggling to even squirm. The throbbing in my arm returned to a pang of stinging and ridiculous burning. _Where am I? Where the fuck am I?_ I look around at the tops of the trees hovering over me. It looks like any pair of woods ANYWHERE. Jughead told me where they took me. I know he did. _Why can’t I fucking remember?_

I try to think harder when I hear that pack of coyotes once again. I let out a broken sob at the sound, realizing there’s no holding back the fear of being eaten anymore. It’s gonna happen. And it’s gonna happen soon. Might as well embrace it. I’m gonna fucking die here. All alone. Just like it ought to happen. I won’t make the shipment tonight. The Sugarman is gonna have to fucking deal with it. I can’t help being stranded out here in….God! Where the fuck am I?!

_You have to get the fuck up!_

I wish I knew how long it had been before I finally stirred, sitting up slowly and feeling the warmth of my freezing cold blood rush to different muscles that had been so deprived for the past however many hours I was lying there. The coyotes are closer. I just feel it. I hear them again. I swear they’re close. So I have to be quiet. I can’t scream in pain like I want to when I feel the soreness throughout every sleepy muscle.

I feel one of my chronic migraines and search my jean pockets, but I don’t even know what I’m looking for. They’re empty anyway. _Fucking hell! What the shit is happening? Don’t tell me I’m getting amnesia! Oh, please, don’t fucking tell me that! I have to get home to Nani! My poor grandmother. She’s all alone. Just get home, Penny! Just get home!_

I look around. It’s...so...fucking….dark here. Where the hell did my phone go?!

I want to stand. I NEED to stand. I’m so cold. I can feel my teeth chattering...only making my headache worse and worse.

 _Ow! What the fuck is that?!_ I hiss in pain, grinding my teeth together, hoping not to scream. I can’t lead the coyotes right to me, so I need to be quiet. But it’s hard. Lord, is it fucking hard when these horrible goddamn charlie horses are sending shooting pains up and down my legs and hips.

_Penny! Stand! Up!_

_**I fucking can’t!** _ I tell myself, harshly pressing my lips together, attempting not to scream. Everything hurts. I feel my tears threatening to freeze to my face and I breathe out, seeing the fog from my breath. _Jesus, Jughead! You have horrible timing. You couldn’t have done this in July? I’m freezing my lady nuts off out here._

_Penny, you’re gonna fucking stand up now. Keep your goddamn mouth shut!_

I took in several deep breaths before I finally managed to get up onto my knees, hearing them pop and crack in the process. _God! How long have I been out here?_ Once on my knees, I take some more deep breaths and move to stand, the charlie horses in my legs and hips causing me to almost topple over, but I catch myself. _Thank fucking God!_ I was not about to do all of that shit again!

I just stood there for a while, regaining my balance and stretching out a bit, the charlie horses calming down a little finally. I look down at my arm again. Well, Jesus Christ! It’s bleeding more than I fucking thought.

_Duh, Penny! It’s pouring rain! Cover it! You have to cover it, Aspen! You should’ve done that a long time ago._

“Well, it’s not my fucking fault! I went into shock!” Great...now I’m talking to myself. I’ve truly lost it!

_Cover it. With what?_

I look down at myself. My flannel! I quickly remove my flannel and tie it around the wound, applying as much pressure as my weak, shaking, cold body can muster. I shiver even more, in nothing but a tank top, cause that Dickhead Jones the Third had to go and steal my Serpent jacket as well. If only I remembered where I was...I could find my way home to Nani.

I feel a shooting pain in the wound again, but only whine a little, feeling those coyotes sniffing me out. Or am I just crazy? The tattoo! I need to find it before they do.

I looked around on the ground ahead of me...nothing. I squint, my vision blurred by the rain dripping in my eyes mixed with my tears of anger, pain, and frustration. Why did I end up here? Why couldn’t I have been lucky enough to lawyer up some Northsiders who would actually pay me for doing my job?

_You’re stubborn and too attached, Penny. That’s why. Nani told you back when you joined the Serpents at 15 that your love and loyalty to them would destroy you._

“Nani? You couldn’t have used your apparent psychic powers to tell me it’d be FP’s fucking kid that would destroy me?!”

_Who are you talking to? Nani is at home all alone. Remember?_

I sigh, hating that she was right. But I love the Serpents. Besides my Nani...they’re all I’ve ever had. I’d do anything for them. Even help them all out of prison sentences and juvie when they can’t afford a lawyer. So, what do I do? I do it for free. But I need to take care of Nani’s hospital and medical bills SOMEHOW. I need to pay rent and buy food. I can’t ONLY live off of favors from my Serpent clients. Working for the Sugarman was supposed to be a temporary thing. But soon, it became the only thing bringing food to my Nani’s table.

_You should’ve worked at Pop’s, Penny. You should’ve just kept the fucking job there._

But that did nothing, did it? A month there and Pop-Pop could only pay me so much. It wasn’t enough.

Wait! Is THAT it?

I think I see the chunk of my skin with the Serpent brand on it a couple feet behind me and I move to take my first step, forgetting about my weak ass unfed legs and I almost keeled over, but I caught myself, taking one more step and standing completely still. My eyes widen.

_Fuck! I was right._

Something WAS watching me. My bloodshot eyes meet the fox’s ahead of me as he steps toward my tattoo lying on the gravel between us. I stand like a statue while he steps forward, sniffing my flesh and I internally panic.

“Shoo!” I try to shout through my shaky, hoarse voice. “Go away!” I whisper, hearing the coyotes still...somewhere out there. I look around for something to throw...nothing. _Wait_! I bend over carefully, pulling off a boot and sadly chucking it at the animal. He doesn’t even give a fuck. I throw the other shoe.

“Fuck!” The fox picks up my apparently tasty flesh, chewing it before swallowing and I gagged while it runs off to find another snack somewhere else.

 _This night could NOT get anymore fucked up._ The flannel tied around my arm is soaked in both rain water and my blood. I pull it off my arm and drop it to the ground. No fucking point.

I turned around again, hoping to see a highway, a road, a path...ANYTHING. Nope. Nothing. Just one sad streetlight about a football field away from me.

_Come on, bitch! Go to it! At least someone will be able to see you better under it._

I take a few deep breaths before somehow dragging my tired feet over to stand below it, my right hand grabbing ahold of it to stay standing.

I shiver again. **_Why the fuck am I so cold? It must be winter, right? Or is it fall? Shit! What day is it? I….I can’t remember? Why don’t I remember? Maybe it’s not important. But I need to know. Don’t I? Am I really losing my mind? Why? Why can’t I remember?_ ** My tears fall harder. I just want to remember. I use my left forearm to wipe the rain off my forehead, forgetting about the wound and I finally scream bloody murder at the pain. Hah! Bloody murder. I must look like a murder victim. Now with my own blood smeared across my forehead and all over my arm.

I look down at the wound again, studying it, hoping to God that this is just a nightmare. Wondering that if it isn’t...maybe Jug was dumb enough to leave SOME of the tattoo. A Serpent. All I ever wanted to be when I was a kid was a Serpent and that wish came true...the dream became a reality. And with one Airhead Jones...that reality was taken from me. _Tattoos are deep right? The ink HAS to still be there._

I find myself deliriously digging through the wound, hoping to see ANY sign of the tattoo still being there. I just want my family back.

_Wait a minute? That noise? What was that noise?_

I look up from my arm, pulling my fingers out of the cut as I see a car pull up. Two teens inside. _Fuck! I hate teens!_ Though I don’t remember why at the moment.

I try to read their lips through the glass as they see me, but my vision is still too blurred. Doesn’t matter. The teen girl soon gets out of the passenger side, her boyfriend, clearly angry that she does as he grabs his umbrella from the backseat and opens the driver’s side door to get out with her, putting the umbrella over her while she screams at me over the sound of the rain and the car.

“Miss?!” She sees my blood ALL over me. “Oh my god! Miss, are you okay?! I’m Amber! This is Chad!” She looks to the kid with her. “What’s your name?” I don’t answer. “What’s your name?!” She repeats.

“I….I don’t…” I shake my head and look to the ground. _**Why the fuck can’t I remember? I just had it.**_

“It’s okay, miss. Don’t worry!” She yells to me before whispering something to Chad and he runs to the backseat of his car, taking out the blanket they had stashed away for some *parking,* I guessed later on, and he runs back to me, wrapping the blanket around me and I lose my balance at his quick approach. He catches me and scoops me up, carrying me to the car and laying me down in the backseat.

 _Ahhh! The heat feels so nice!_ My shaking body agrees and Amber and Chad get in, pulling away. I begin to quietly laugh at these teens saving me. Though I can’t figure out why it’s so goddamn funny. “I’m bleeding all over your car.” I say maniacally.

“That’s okay, miss. We’re gonna get you to a hospital. Can you tell us what happened?” The girl seems nice. That’s odd to me for some reason.

I laugh again, this time louder. “I fucking wish I could tell MYSELF what happened!”

**_Why in the hell can’t I remember?_ **

“That’s okay.” Amber replied. “You’re safe now. You’re not alone.”

 _Then why do I feel even more alone now than before tonight?_ Amber’s voice trailed off, mumbling something to me about staying awake. But I couldn’t hear her over my own beating heart as I let my eyes close, laughing myself to sleep despite her words. I opened my eyes one last time, looking out the window at the black sky above, the raindrops falling down the car window. I kept telling myself I wasn’t afraid of the dark.

 

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**A/N: Hey, guys! I know it’s been so so long since I’ve written, but I have two jobs now and I barely find time to tweet let alone write fanfiction. Haha! But I found some free time and decided I needed to write this because I’ve been wondering WTF happened to Penny, my poor wife, after being attacked and left for dead. So I wrote this. I didn’t intend on it being from her point of view, but I’ve been RPing her so much the past three months, it kinda just happened. Lol Let me know what you think in the comments please! I may do another chapter if I get enough requests. Love you guys! MWAH!**


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